What is a Brat in BDSM?
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What is a Brat in BDSM?
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What is a Brat in BDSM?
Posted By Arvin On 2022-06-17
"The wide and beautiful world of BDSM is home to numerous roles, positions, and dynamics. The Dominant and submissive (Dom/sub or D/s) are the Adam and Eve (or Steve) of the kink community. Under the umbrella of these two main roles are a slew of interesting subcategories.
For many of us, “brat” is a word we’d use to describe a person—often a child—who acts out whenever they don’t get something they want. Sometimes they have tantrums irrespective of whether or not they’ll get the things they’re being a brat about.
They’re belligerent, confrontational, and just all-around difficult. Now let us ask you. In BDSM, is a brat a dominant or a submissive role?
If you answered “submissive”, then you’re correct. You can be forgiven for thinking that a brat is a dominant sub-class, what with the demanding attitude and all. But true doms will never behave the way a brat does.
How do bratty traits and actions factor into being a submissive? What makes a brat tick? We’ll answer these questions and more in this post. Let’s crack on!
How Does the “Brat” Role Work in BDSM?
A BDSM brat is a playful submissive. They push their dominant’s buttons and rile them up on purpose. They deliberately mess up, forget, or straight-up disobey. But it’s all in the spirit of light-hearted mischief, sassiness, and good fun rather than true antagonism.
How does the dom react to a brat and their antics? Why, just as any self-respecting dom does, of course—through various corrective actions.
Here’s the kicker. Even though the brat has been displaying some rather undesirable attitude, they’re still under the control of their dom. If the dom thinks it’s high time the paddle comes out, the brat has no choice but to accept their comeuppance as long as it’s been negotiated on their terms as a D/s couple.
If the brat agreed to a spanking while tied to a chair every time the dom finds their conduct unbecoming, then that’s what they’ll get. A brat is a fun and creative variant of the submissive role, but it’s one that’s still bound to the rules of BDSM.
What Motivates a Brat According to a Sex Educator
BDSM experts suggest tailoring corrective actions based on what motivates the bratty behavior. But the reasons behind what a brat does can’t always be summed up in simple terms. A brat is a complex species that needs a good chunk of time under the microscope.
Sex educator and volume squirting world record holder Lola Jean says, “The key is working with the brat, not against them.” Here are a few things that she thinks motivate a brat.
1. Punishment or “Funishment”
According to Jean, “when the act is enjoyable, the draw to this motivator could be the punishment itself…”
A large part of the sub role has to do with “pleasurable penalties”. Sometimes, a dom falls behind on their punishment administration duties. As a result, the sub will attempt to press out disciplinary actions by being a smart-assed masochist.
Subs seek out punishments for several personal reasons. Maybe they like getting choked or timed out. Perhaps they have a hankering for a good cry, which may result from a particularly intense spanking session. Whatever the reason is, the sub or brat must have agreed to the penalty.
2. Independence or Autonomy
Total power exchange (TPE) is an advanced stage of a D/s relationship. In a TPE setup, the dom has absolute control over every part of the sub’s life at all hours of the day. It’s a condition that must be made explicitly clear right at the beginning of the affair.
If a sub didn’t agree to a TPE relationship but the dom acts as if they did, they have the option of just bratting out instead of addressing the issue head-on. For example, if a dom keeps demanding stuff in the middle of the night, the sub may simply ignore the command or do the task badly.
In a way, it’s avoiding confrontation while hoping that the dom gets the message, which is, “You’re crossing some lines there, bud.”
Some subs like taking part in the decision-making process regarding their D/s arrangement. If they find the conditions are getting a bit too stuffy for comfort, they’ll use a bit of passive-aggressiveness to nudge their doms into hearing them out or giving them some level of independence.
3. Attention
Yup, often it’s just that simple. We’ve mentioned over and over again in our other BDSM guides that a dom should treasure and care for their sub. The Dom may be the boss but the sub is the star. And stars demand attention.
Ignoring a sub may trigger childish behaviors. They’ll throw a temper tantrum or ruin scenes. Sometimes the immediate attention from their bratty hijinks is enough and the sub will settle down. Other times they may affect a chaotic attitude that gets progressively worse because the dom has been especially neglectful as of late.
A dom’s reaction to attention-getting tactics varies. Some doms yield and respond with rewards, while others punish. And then there are those who discipline brats by further withholding attention, which is a form of behavioral conditioning.
The brat can kick and scream all day but the dom will blatantly ignore them. Soon enough, they’ll realize that it’s not the way to get what they want.
4. Struggle Play
There may come a time when a sub will develop a fetish for challenging the D/s dynamic. They will make attempts at grabbing power from their dom for the thrill and pleasure of it.
A cunning brat will create situations that may lead to a form of role reversal. Some call it topping from the bottom. They don’t get their kicks just from the general idea of a power struggle. Often, they get pleasure from seeing how their dom deals with their petulant ways.
Power struggle need not be a one-sided affair. If a dom hones in on what the brat is doing, they may oblige and get in on the game without addressing it. The couple can also turn the exchange into a BDSM play officially.
They may incorporate it into their scenes or day-to-day interactions. Play-fighting is a common activity that brats enjoy. It’s an interesting way of injecting something new into their D/s dynamic.
5. Dom Test
A sub consents to be controlled to an extent because they trust their dom. The sub is confident in their Dom’s skills and capabilities as a leader and caretaker.
A sub will switch to a brat persona as a means of testing the dom if they are indeed worthy of heading the power exchange relationship. If the dom manages to react satisfactorily, then they pass the test. It keeps the dom on their toes, so to speak.
It can also easily be a test of the dom’s patience. A true dominant will use their authority and wits to curb a brat’s treasonous attitude. They’ll do it for as long as needed. A fake dom may just throw in the towel and excuse themselves from the relationship dynamic completely."
Posted By Arvin On 2022-06-17
"The wide and beautiful world of BDSM is home to numerous roles, positions, and dynamics. The Dominant and submissive (Dom/sub or D/s) are the Adam and Eve (or Steve) of the kink community. Under the umbrella of these two main roles are a slew of interesting subcategories.
For many of us, “brat” is a word we’d use to describe a person—often a child—who acts out whenever they don’t get something they want. Sometimes they have tantrums irrespective of whether or not they’ll get the things they’re being a brat about.
They’re belligerent, confrontational, and just all-around difficult. Now let us ask you. In BDSM, is a brat a dominant or a submissive role?
If you answered “submissive”, then you’re correct. You can be forgiven for thinking that a brat is a dominant sub-class, what with the demanding attitude and all. But true doms will never behave the way a brat does.
How do bratty traits and actions factor into being a submissive? What makes a brat tick? We’ll answer these questions and more in this post. Let’s crack on!
How Does the “Brat” Role Work in BDSM?
A BDSM brat is a playful submissive. They push their dominant’s buttons and rile them up on purpose. They deliberately mess up, forget, or straight-up disobey. But it’s all in the spirit of light-hearted mischief, sassiness, and good fun rather than true antagonism.
How does the dom react to a brat and their antics? Why, just as any self-respecting dom does, of course—through various corrective actions.
Here’s the kicker. Even though the brat has been displaying some rather undesirable attitude, they’re still under the control of their dom. If the dom thinks it’s high time the paddle comes out, the brat has no choice but to accept their comeuppance as long as it’s been negotiated on their terms as a D/s couple.
If the brat agreed to a spanking while tied to a chair every time the dom finds their conduct unbecoming, then that’s what they’ll get. A brat is a fun and creative variant of the submissive role, but it’s one that’s still bound to the rules of BDSM.
What Motivates a Brat According to a Sex Educator
BDSM experts suggest tailoring corrective actions based on what motivates the bratty behavior. But the reasons behind what a brat does can’t always be summed up in simple terms. A brat is a complex species that needs a good chunk of time under the microscope.
Sex educator and volume squirting world record holder Lola Jean says, “The key is working with the brat, not against them.” Here are a few things that she thinks motivate a brat.
1. Punishment or “Funishment”
According to Jean, “when the act is enjoyable, the draw to this motivator could be the punishment itself…”
A large part of the sub role has to do with “pleasurable penalties”. Sometimes, a dom falls behind on their punishment administration duties. As a result, the sub will attempt to press out disciplinary actions by being a smart-assed masochist.
Subs seek out punishments for several personal reasons. Maybe they like getting choked or timed out. Perhaps they have a hankering for a good cry, which may result from a particularly intense spanking session. Whatever the reason is, the sub or brat must have agreed to the penalty.
2. Independence or Autonomy
Total power exchange (TPE) is an advanced stage of a D/s relationship. In a TPE setup, the dom has absolute control over every part of the sub’s life at all hours of the day. It’s a condition that must be made explicitly clear right at the beginning of the affair.
If a sub didn’t agree to a TPE relationship but the dom acts as if they did, they have the option of just bratting out instead of addressing the issue head-on. For example, if a dom keeps demanding stuff in the middle of the night, the sub may simply ignore the command or do the task badly.
In a way, it’s avoiding confrontation while hoping that the dom gets the message, which is, “You’re crossing some lines there, bud.”
Some subs like taking part in the decision-making process regarding their D/s arrangement. If they find the conditions are getting a bit too stuffy for comfort, they’ll use a bit of passive-aggressiveness to nudge their doms into hearing them out or giving them some level of independence.
3. Attention
Yup, often it’s just that simple. We’ve mentioned over and over again in our other BDSM guides that a dom should treasure and care for their sub. The Dom may be the boss but the sub is the star. And stars demand attention.
Ignoring a sub may trigger childish behaviors. They’ll throw a temper tantrum or ruin scenes. Sometimes the immediate attention from their bratty hijinks is enough and the sub will settle down. Other times they may affect a chaotic attitude that gets progressively worse because the dom has been especially neglectful as of late.
A dom’s reaction to attention-getting tactics varies. Some doms yield and respond with rewards, while others punish. And then there are those who discipline brats by further withholding attention, which is a form of behavioral conditioning.
The brat can kick and scream all day but the dom will blatantly ignore them. Soon enough, they’ll realize that it’s not the way to get what they want.
4. Struggle Play
There may come a time when a sub will develop a fetish for challenging the D/s dynamic. They will make attempts at grabbing power from their dom for the thrill and pleasure of it.
A cunning brat will create situations that may lead to a form of role reversal. Some call it topping from the bottom. They don’t get their kicks just from the general idea of a power struggle. Often, they get pleasure from seeing how their dom deals with their petulant ways.
Power struggle need not be a one-sided affair. If a dom hones in on what the brat is doing, they may oblige and get in on the game without addressing it. The couple can also turn the exchange into a BDSM play officially.
They may incorporate it into their scenes or day-to-day interactions. Play-fighting is a common activity that brats enjoy. It’s an interesting way of injecting something new into their D/s dynamic.
5. Dom Test
A sub consents to be controlled to an extent because they trust their dom. The sub is confident in their Dom’s skills and capabilities as a leader and caretaker.
A sub will switch to a brat persona as a means of testing the dom if they are indeed worthy of heading the power exchange relationship. If the dom manages to react satisfactorily, then they pass the test. It keeps the dom on their toes, so to speak.
It can also easily be a test of the dom’s patience. A true dominant will use their authority and wits to curb a brat’s treasonous attitude. They’ll do it for as long as needed. A fake dom may just throw in the towel and excuse themselves from the relationship dynamic completely."
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